Pills are good, pills are gooooood. hahah

Last night I couldn't sleep all night so tonight I took one of my xanex, plus 3 tylenol pms for tonight.  Yeah that ought to knock me out soon!

I'm sick of it.   Insomnia sucks!  I wouldn't mind it so much, but I gotta teach the kids in the morning and I need my rest to function and for patience!!   UGH.

Yeah they just kicked in...... I'll write a new blog in the morning IF I wake up hahah  hahahahhahah

Nighty Naaaaii zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Just me whining no one has to read this.

Another day passes.


... hm...


I've been blogging over 6 months now.  I'm not sure I see the big hype yet.  I mean, it's OKAY.  It's like talking to yourself though.   There's not much point in it honestly.  I do that too though haha.

Once in a blue moon and I mean in a VERY blue moon, I sometimes get a small comment about something I've written.  However, it's quite far and few between when that actually happens.  Maybe I write too much, or maybe what I write is too repetitive or boring?  I don't know, I mean, I know people who write blogs daily.  And they are no more interesting than MINE.  Or maybe they are and I just don't realize it.

What really is amazing to me is all the followers these other bloggers have!!  Not just random comments, but people who actually "follow" their blogs!!   I follow a few myself.   But in 9 months of blogging not a single follower has thought to follow me.
:(  and yes, I feel bad and pathetic.   Well I mean, wouldn't you??  

Don't get me wrong.... like at all!!!   I SO am not blogging for other people.  It's not about that, despite it sounding that way.   It's just,..... I dunno I guess I just was hoping to meet new people.  Or at least be able to chat with them.  Even if people HATED me or hated what I wrote about... Even THOSE people I'd talk to.  I just have no one to talk to.   Waah me! hahahahha

It's no wonder I cling to the first guy who gives me any attention.  It's not about jumping in too fast... it's about being SO lonely that I don't want to be .... well... where I am now.   Alone, completely alone.   Friendless and empty.

My Mom says I have to be happy with being alone.  Hm.  Yeah, well I'm not, and I never was as a kid.... and I can't fathom being that way in the future as an old person so....  I like my privacy, I like my alone time, don't get me wrong.   BUT  90% of the rest of the time I'd like social interaction.  (aside from Facebook).   Even on Facebook I'm barely socializing.  I talk to people maybe once or twice a week if that.  And, god love them, they're amazing people, but they are my relatives minus like 1 or 2 at most!!  ::sighs::  Maybe I'm being foolish I dunno.

Guess I should just go to bed.  School in the morning.  Night.